[Preface: I didn’t intend for this post to be long as it is. It came out a tad lengthy and personal. Hopefully you can find it helpful, inspirational or at the least entertaining. If you’re not a long post reader, feel free to skip around. But I swear its not all about me. 😉]
Happy New Year, Kittens.
With a new year comes a time for reflection of the past and thinking of the future. I recently learned about Universal numerology and found it interesting to review my year with this ideology in mind. According to this Universal philosophy, 2016 was a Universal 9 year. (2+0+1+6=9). Nine is a finishing number representing the end of a cycle. This means 2016 was a year of completion and endings. We all (supposedly) had a chance to end something this past year, tie up loose ends or move on from something. This can mean: a break up, new home, career change, letting go of a past experience, breaking free from judgmental patterns or bad habits, ending friendships etc.
With this in mind, I looked at my own experiences of the past year and, interestingly, this theory holds completely true. In 2016 I went through a complete transformation with my personal growth, decisions and habits. I finally broke a cycle that lead me into a completely new lifestyle. Think about your own year. Were there any endings?
In the process of writing this I found myself going kinda deep into a life transformation of mine which was not in the initial intention of this post. Interested in hearing my story? Here it is…
I began 2016 in a 9-5 career that paid extremely well with ample opportunity for travel, but with work and a lifestyle I felt no connection to. The lifestyle actually made me feel all opposite feelings of living a full life, even though on the surface it sounded like a good gig. Day by day I knew it was something I wanted to leave behind. By the end of 2016, I had left that job and ended that lifestyle. I no longer am working a 9-5, with no plans to be back in a position like that again. Though I had always known I wasn’t fit for that lifestyle, I never had the courage to be true to myself in that way until this year. I had tried many times before this past year to find work that was true to me, instead of being involved in a 9-5 desk position. But each time I continued the cycle of being a part of that world.
- 2014: After graduating college, I took a marketing internship at an agency in NYC instead of something full-time. I had no idea what I wanted to do, but literally loathed sitting behind a desk all day, being forced to work for someone else doing something I had no connection to. At the end of this internship, I was offered a full-time job at the agency, but declined it. Countless people, including my parents and older relatives, told me it was a huge mistake to not take the job offer with no other prospects for work. But I knew deep down I wanted more out of life than a paycheck from a position that meant nothing to me. I was desperate to find something I loved. The problem was I hadn’t yet gotten confident in the idea that I could do something other than an office or corporate position. After all, that is what my 4 years (and $100,000+) of college education prepared me for…
Two months into my unemployment, I took a marketing position at an optical device company (not a passion or interest of mine whatsoever). I told myself it was a good decision because it is better paying industry, that would lead to more opportunity. (I was also tired of being broke). That was my first attempt at leaving the corporate 9-5 rat race, before quickly finding myself right back in it.
- 2015: After about 6 months into my optical company position, I was literally losing my mind. I didn’t ever love it, but it’s always nice to be optimistic in the beginning of a new job, when you’re still learning and transitioning into the opportunity. But after the honeymoon phase, everyday at this job I would daydream of breaking free. While working there, I took a week long trip to California visiting Manhattan Beach, Malibu and three national parks: Yosemite, Kings Canyon and Sequoia. This trip blew my mind, set my soul on fire and literally changed my life forever. Being in nature and seeing things that are SO much bigger than ourselves gave me this higher perspective and showed me a deeper meaning of life. I always feel a little changed after any travel (which is why I love it so much), but seeing these magnificent national parks was a complete spiritual transformation for me. I left this trip on cloud nine. But instead of returning to my job feeling refreshed and optimistic, it became even harder to face what I was doing day to day. During my trip I got closer to my true self, so being back in a job that was so far from what I wanted killed me. Yes, I was super dramatic. But this is really how I felt. I am not putting down corporate or office jobs. The lifestyle of these jobs makes some people incredibly happy and challenges their creativity. I am not one of those people.
After several emotional breakdowns and two months after my trip (8 months into the position) I decided to quit my job. I didn’t know what I was going to do. Didn’t know how I was going to pay my bills or save money, but I just did it. I copped a freelance writing gig that paid pennies. But it was enough to give me the sense of financial security that it was okay to leave.
I was sure I had done it: embarked on a new path. But the truth was I was kind of an emotional mess. Even though I left something I didn’t want, I still didn’t find what I was looking for. And still didn’t really have enough confidence in my decisions. I had a lot of people in my life drilling fear into my head that I needed a secure corporate job and not playing it safe was a huge mistake. Again, I ended up taking another corporate position two months after quitting. (Do you see this pattern?) This one paid WAY more, and was more interesting. It involved more creativity in the work and had tons of travel. At the time, it was something I could get on board with.
- 2016: I will cut to the chase and say that all of my feelings of not wanting that lifestyle came back (surprise). But this time, I took my own personal growth seriously. I wasn’t as rash with my decisions. Instead of whining about hating where I was (ok, there might have been some whining), I spent 2016 trying to be grateful for the opportunity I had, learn as much as I could at my job, and get connected deep down inside to know when I should leave and what to do next. The decision to leave showed up somewhat randomly in September. This time, I was much more grounded in my decision. I was feeling closer to what it was I wanted out of life. I had more faith in myself, my perspective changed completely, and I had some money saved (kind of) for me to leave. And here I am today.
So, ending this cycle really started years ago. But it took until this year for me to have the courage to go through with it completely. I have no idea if my personal experience is due to the “nine” year, but it’s interesting how it seems to have played out that way. Enough about me. Take a look back at your own year. Did you end anything significant in your life?
Looking forward to 2017, we are in a one year. (2+0+1+7=10, 1+0=1). Since nine is a year of endings, it only makes sense that one is a year of new beginnings. (This excites me). 2017 is supposed to bring us with new experiences, perspectives and opportunities. The energy of this year will emphasize beginnings, change and progress. I know I am ready for change and progress. The key is being active and committed to this process. When looking ahead and setting your goals, intentions or resolutions for this year, I suggest having this “one” theory in mind. What kinds of changes can you begin to make this year? Take advantage of the energy of the year and be creative with your decisions.
Wow. If you’ve made it to this point in the post thanks so much for reading and staying 🙂 Hopefully someone can relate to my emotional, dramatic and zigzag cycle that lead to a huge life transformation. How do your lives relate to the Universal numerology theory? Does it make sense for your experiences or do you think it’s a load of crap? Really could go either way I’m sure.
Wish you all a happy 2017 full of positive changes and new beginnings! Peace and love.