Today has been one of those days. You know – one of those days where you’re struggling and it kind of feels like life isn’t on your side. We are all human and experience periods of doubt and worry, it’s in our nature. I’ve learned that the path of self-growth is a journey that has to be reinforced over and over and over. Personal development and spirituality are both practices. We must practice them consistently in order to strengthen them, and even then there will still come periods of struggle. It’s just the way it goes.
Today something happened that really poisoned my state of mind. It put me in a cycle of having undesirable expectations and worry. I’m having an issue releasing control here and to just let life do it’s thing. I know my reaction and action are the only things that will actually make a difference in the outcome of my life, but I’m having a hard time not letting my mind run wild with this. Isn’t it funny how we have trouble listening to our own wisdom? I’ve written blog posts about exactly what I need to do right now to not let this negatively affect me, but I guess my mind is being stubborn. I feel like I’m swimming in the deep end, and my only options are to sink or swim.
In times like these, I try to practice or seek anything to restore my clear mindset and let go of any negative feelings. I even find myself watching videos like this to raise my spirits. (Say what you will, but for some reason listening to this woo woo talk makes me feel better.) In an effort to get out of my crap mindset today I went to the gym, did some yoga, went in a sauna, wrote in my journal, read inspiring blog posts, talked to my friend and mom about it and took a walk outside. All of these helped momentarily, but I’m still feeling defeated. Who am I? All day I’ve been sinking. Sinking in the questions that worry me and that I don’t have the answer to.
It’s usually easy for me to just say “everything will work out” without having to face anxiety. Today that just isn’t happening as naturally. All I know is I can sink or swim. I have to make peace with the fact that things may not look the way I want them to and I have to release control. This holds true for whatever we go through in life, big or small. My options are to sink into the worry and sadness or swim through the shitty situation. I’m not trying to manipulate my mind to view this as something else. What I am going to do is challenge myself to how I handle it. Instead of sinking into a paralyzing mindset, I’m preparing myself to “swim” through challenges and difficulties that may come up, knowing this too shall pass. Hey, things can work out in my favor and I could be imagining negative outcomes for no reason, but for some reason my mind keeps saying “Nah, I’m not going to allow you to be optimistic today. Let’s worry and contemplate some more.” Ugh. Isn’t it the worst when our minds get the best of us? I decided if I can’t change my mindset about something, I can change my actions, and hope it all comes full circle. At the end of the day, we are all human. No matter how happy, enlightened, smart, intellectual and godly you feel, days where you feel like you’re sinking are going to happen. Make the choice: sink or swim.
I’m hoping I will wake up feeling like my bright-eyed bushy-tailed self again. (Okay, yeah, who am I kidding. My chill demeanor is more so of a cat’s and less of a woodland creature’s. Lol) But I know ya get what I’m saying.
There is an Irish proverb that says “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.” I couldn’t agree more 🙂